A friend called the other day and asked if I had any self-help
books she could read. Of course, I have self-help books, I am the guru of self-help
books and I told her to come on over. As I was pulling books off my shelf for
her and looking through my stuff, I kept coming back to a book that I have read
before many years ago. This particular book was given to me by someone I have
never met, but only talked with on the phone. Mary told me over the phone that
this book would change my life and that it’s important I read it. As with
everything, we are very good at taking what we are reading, or experiencing during
phases of our lives and applying it. Then life happens, we get too busy and
what is the first thing to be put on the back burner, ourselves. Why is that?
Since the last time I read the book, I have been living a
very fast paced life full of many ups and few downs. I personally don’t feel that my downs are very
low, but low enough that I just kind live in a flat lined space, nothing really
exciting, but nothing really horrible. I go through my weeks of eating better,
doing more Yoga than normal, trying to meditate, basically trying to make my
life less stressful, but that only lasts a short while, till I am busy again.
As do most of us, when I am busy, the last thing I pay attention to is to
myself. I am more worried about what I am doing or where I have to be, than taking
care of me. I don’t stop to really listen
to what my soul needs, or how my body feels, or what would nourish my life at
the moment. Can you imagine what our lives would be like if we just took the
time every day to ask ourselves what we need today? Not only ask, but then
listen. The possibilities of self-love,
joy, happiness and abundance are endless.
Usually when we are so busy and running ragged, so is our
negativity about life, things and our bodies. We are constantly in a state of
crazy, that our mind streams thoughts that tell us we hate this, or that person
annoyed us, or I shouldn’t drink that pop because I’ll gain weight. Our mind
doesn’t normally say positive, uplifting comments when we are unaware of our thoughts.
When living in that state of negativity we are constantly sending out energy
vibes that are negative. We are sending out thoughts that cause our lives to be
flat, or unfulfilling, therefore, our life reflects our thoughts. I do know that life is not meant to be lived
that way. We are not meant to live a life of negativity and crap.
How do we change our thoughts, all the things we dread doing
every day or finding that love you’ve been looking for? I asked myself that
same question just after I was trying to help my friend find her answer in my
self-help books. I have been living in a state of negativity since August.
Every morning I wake up and I dread going to work. I feel very powerless there
and I feel like I do not make a difference. I love the people I work with,
which are what keeps me going in everyday, but as a whole, I dread my job. I
would come in, dragging my feet, almost kicking and screaming, which then pours
out onto my desk and into my classroom. I get all emotional when one thing goes
wrong and I am all in all just very grouchy. I can never solve a problem
because all I do is bitch about what’s wrong and not look at what I can do to
make it better. This has been my life for about 7 months, day in and day out.
My life around my job is good, I am in a happy place, but obviously, my
negative energy I am casting into the world is collecting and causing nothing
in my life to get any better. It’s almost like I have become stuck in a very
thick muddy field, the kind of field that you know if you try to move, your
shoe will come off. That’s where I have been for way too long.
The answer to my question just happened to fall off the
shelf that day when I was looking for books. Maybe it was Mary telling me from
afar, to pick up the book again, because yes, it will change your life. I gave
my friend a copy and I took my copy and began reading that night. I read the
book in 2 days and as I read, I could feel the mud around my shoes starting to
dry, very slowly, but all the same,
it is drying.
It has been about 2 weeks
now since I started reading and taking very big steps of changing my life.
I have started paying attention to all my negative thoughts….yes,
there are so many of those in my day, especially at work. Not only am I
negative at work, but then because I am in such a yucky place, I am very
negative to myself. I constantly tell myself I need to lose weight, or my hair
looks bad, or I should be working out more (even though I work out 6 days now),
or that I am not being kind enough, etc. All of those thoughts, just seem to
accumulate and attract so much more of what I don’t want, therefore, getting
the same muddy field. So I have this little game I play and visualize. When I
have a negative thought about anything, big or small, I picture myself flipping
a switch from my negative thoughts to something positive about me or my life.
Just the thought of that has been huge for me. It immediately takes me away
from the crappy, negative thought, to something positive. It’s amazing how much
that changes your energy in an instant. That’s a simple thing I can do anywhere
anytime.
Now something else I am doing that is a bit more work. Every
time I get a chance, most of the time when I am driving or before I go to bed
seems to be the best times for me. I visualize myself where I want to be. For
example, I visualize Melissa and me in St. Lucia on a beach. I can see the
ocean, I can feel the sun, and I can taste the Corona. I am not worried at all
how I got there, where the money came from or when we are going. That part
doesn’t matter. What matters is that when I visualize us in St. Lucia, I can FEEL us
there. I get this feeling in my gut that reminds me of a buzzing or a whoosh in
my heart, sort of like when you feel nervous for something. That’s the feeling.
I just focus on that feeling and try to magnetize it as powerful as I can. That’s
the good energy flowing, which is also causing my muddy field to start drying
up. Now, you can visualize anything you want and you can start small, like a
good parking spot at the busy mall, or you can go for the gusto and visualize something
you have always wanted. Now the tricky part is that you can’t have any
negativity or don’t wants, they have to be all wants and no questions on how it’s
going to happen. That is not your job. Your job is vibrating all sorts of good
energy. We want to get our muddy fields to dry up, we want our good energy to
be vibrating heavily and collecting other good things.
Think of your energy like a faucet. Most of us going around
with our faucet closed most of the time. If we are closed, how can we be happy
and alive? We need to figure out a way to open that faucet and let the
happiness and good energy flow. Flipping the switch when negative thoughts come
into our minds or just visualizing what we want. It sounds simple and in theory
it is, but in practice it is very difficult. We are so used to negativity and
living in flat lined state, that we have fear on changing that energy. Our ego’s
don’t want to change, they like being in control.
In the last few weeks of these two life changing practices,
have opened my faucet even just a little (I have a long way to go), but during
this time, I feel better. My behavior
students at school who I dreaded seeing every day, have been great this week. I
haven’t had any issues with them at all. I feel like I have taught some good
lessons to the kids, I am calmer in my speech and I honestly just don’t feel as
grouchy. I haven’t been hard on myself when I took a few days off from working
out. I can feel my shoes loosening in that mud, I can see the sun coming up on
the horizon, and I can feel the joy flowing from my heart. I know that I can have everything I want and
I can have it now, I just need to enjoy my life to the fullest, with all the
happiness the world has to offer. NO more doubt, negativity, lack of love. I am
living with my faucet open and vibrating the most positive energy I can FEEL.
Thank you Mary, thank you to my friend who wanted self-help books and
thank you to the book, “Please Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting.” Yes, my life
has been waiting and now, with my faucet open, I am ready to leave this muddy
field and take a walk on the beaches of St. Lucia.
